Are you single and hear that you would make a great catch? Often, some of the best-looking and greatest-personality single guys out there are indeed great catches. Why are they single? It may come as surprising to learn that most guys are afraid to approach women and this is one reason why they are single. It may seem unlikely since a lot of these same guys are fine with women in general, but these women are likely introduced through friends, at social functions, or through work. Still don’t believe the figures, then consider that most of these guys are considered great friends by all of the women they know! (Hint: most of them don’t want friendship; they want companionship).
Of these single guys, question them why are single and chances are they will not fess up and admit that they cannot approach women (and the term women refers to strangers or people they see in a bar, on the street, or elsewhere). In fact, most of these guys don’t even know it themselves that they cannot approach women because, as humans in this day and age, we believe that love, or interested women, will happen upon us when the stars align and everything is “right.” We can thank fairy tales and romance in the media for this!
Fact is, when it comes time to meeting new women, a lot of men fail. Their inner insecurities take control and help them create a list a mile long for why they should not approach women. These lists are lame as can be and will include things like: she must have a boyfriend/husband; there’s no way she will talk to me, look at her; she probably gets hit on all the time, what shot do I have; I think have to go to the bathroom; and so on ad nauseum.
Our fear about women turns out to be hard-wired. At least that is one theory floating around out there, and it dates back to pre-historic times. The theory has some merits and is supported by the study of most other social animals. Throw a new male into a pack of chimps and tensions will arise as they compete for a particular female. So, if we fear conflict with potential boyfriends or other interested parties, why would we approach women at all? Why not lay low and let the love come to us?
The biggest downfall with letting women come to us is that it will almost never happen. As men, we need to take action when it comes to finding women. The reason is that, while women’s rights have progressed politically, legally, and professionally, they sadly have not progressed all that much socially. Dowries and arranged marriages may not be common in our everyday culture, but a hundred or so years ago they were. And, let’s face it, they continue to exist in a lot of today’s cultures. So if our fear of approaching women is hard-wired, what have women been hard-wired to believe?
Most of us cannot rely on our family to hook us up with the type of women we dream of, so we have to do the arranging ourselves. And most women know that they are in the position of power when it comes to deciding whether to let us into their lives. They control whether we are rejected or accepted. They also know that once they let us in, they lose social control over their lives, voluntarily trading in their position as President and CEO for that of co-president and co-chair (at least insofar as their everyday lives are concerned)
So how do win a woman’s approval and convince her to not reject us? To start, we must get comfortable with how we can and should approach women. As well, we need to accept that what our caveman ancestors encountered a thousand years ago no longer exists (for the most part). Once we do these things, we will be well-prepared to seek out the right women.
Yes, it may seem like a tough obstacle to overcome. Worse, even if you master how to approach women, this is just the first phase of the relationship! There is much more to learn, such as how to keep her!
